i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
