hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
