Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
