I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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