So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
