stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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