Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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