OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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