Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
