hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
