Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
