That's when you crack a 10am beer
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
