Did you just see the Batmobile???
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize