The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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