Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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