sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i came on her dog
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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