I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
