just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you inspire me to be a worse person
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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