my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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