Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
