It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize