I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
