You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
