But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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