when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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