blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
