from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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