The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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