what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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