On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize