I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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