you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
