it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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