yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
