Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
nutella sex= disaster
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
