Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
