You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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