is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my being single is dangerous.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
