I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize