if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
