so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just invented taco cereal.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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