After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
