I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
