You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize