Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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