Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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