Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
