It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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