I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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