Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
