Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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