using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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