somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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