Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
