I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
