i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Actions speak louder than pants.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
