she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
