Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
