nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
