me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
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