She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
