drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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